34 going on 90

Yoga:  none - back was hurting too much
Other: therapy, hypnotherapy CD
Bloating:  7
Cramping: 5 (I cramp up after every BM)
BM Satisfaction:  4 (incomplete.  I think I need to drink more water)

Yet another cel phone alarm-clock malfunction this morning, I'm now wondering if my phone is on its deathbed.   Woke up at 7:35, took a shower, even shaved my legs, and hopped in cab in time to arrive in time for therapy at 8.   To spend an hour talking about body image.   I am sure my therapist is delighted she got up early for me to dissect how my life has been utterly destroyed by the last 5 pounds I gained.
Very uncomfortable at work, and was wearing this skirt that tends to rise up as the day goes on and my bloating increases.   So by 5 pm it is practically around my armpits.  Which makes me just feel all the more self-conscious about my size.  I bought this skirt a few weeks ago in a fit of denial about my actual size;  I really should have bought one size larger so it would sit on my hips, not just under my bra.

I was still very sore from whatever wierd thing I did to my back in yoga yesterday.  I felt like a little old lady all day today, wincing every time I got up or sat down.   So I tried about 5 seconds of yoga when I got home, but it was clear that was not happening, I can barely bend over.  So I popped in a CD of hypnotherapy for IBS.

Tonight I wrote a long email to a pen pal who also has IBS and a serious ED and is a very, very ill woman.   She recently left the hospital after 3 weeks of refeeding because she could no longer stand the pain from the meal plan they had her on - 5,000 cals, Ensures, etc..  Now she's back on her own, her anorexia has swung into bulimia, and she's wondering if she made the right decision. She feels stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Or, more precisely, a painfully bloated and constipated place.   I urged her to go back to the hospital and made my best argument for the idea that 50% of her IBS symptoms are possibly not truly IBS, but merely the temporary results of being at a low weight and having restricted certain foods for so long.  And so that 50% can improve if she sticks with the meal plan.   I discussed the different types of "problem" foods and suggested easier-to-digest alternatives, and some other little tips that got me through it.

I have never met this woman but I can tell she is extremely anxious - as I am.  So I added that she will also need to adjust her mindframe if she is to get through the difficult process of refeeding.    To stop that flight or flight response which is diverting her blood flow away from her digestive system and to her limbs - to help run from the tiger, right?    She is going to have to harness her own power to relax about the process and remind herself that, though her colon might seem to disagree, by feeding herself she is giving herself the best possible gift.