BBQ Debrief

Yoga:  20-minute DVD
Bloating:  7 (looked bad but not painful)
Cramping: 6
BM Satisfaction:  6 (went twice, morning was good but evening left me crampy)

I am not sure I am going to keep up the format of this blog -  the daily symptom and yoga log.   Seems kind of repetitive and probably not useful for anyone except for me. 

Sunday started rough.  As I wrote on Saturday, I had been concerned about the fact that I was going to a family bbq, the timing of which cut into my go-to-the-bathroom schedule.    So on Sunday I tried to go beforehand - but I ended up forcing too much and consequently throwing my gut into spasm.   So I left for the barbeque feeling both constipated and competely cramped up.   Not a fun combination.   

I still managed to have a good time there - I had quite a bit of wine, and yes I know it aggravates IBS but I was trying to relax the iron-clad grip of my colon.    And everyone seemed very pleased to see the "old me" back.   My uncle gave me like a full-body-contact hug - he had also had a lot of wine, lol.    When you are trapped in the ED mindframe of  Skinny Is Best, you don't fully appreciate that it makes other people feel sad to look at you.   Not just because you look, well, freakin' HUNGRY, but because you don't look like YOU.  I mean, I just saw my aunt and uncle a few months ago, and yet when I walked in their house, it's like I was war-weary soldier returning from the front.

So yeah, I felt like crap physically but I also felt happy and loved.   The weather was perfect and the food (and sangria!) were delish.  And I had a great conversation with my cousin's girlfriend M who likewise suffers from bloating and constipation, and who likewise went to a naturopath (in fact, the same one I saw 13 years ago) who prescribed a rigid diet and a whack of supplements.   M also felt the stress of trying to follow that diet.   And she recently noticed that her stomach problems dissappeared while on vacation.  So M is coming to feel that her unhappy gut has more to do with her stressful, drama-filled job than her diet. ]

However, M did mention that she found kefir was the one thing that seemed to help.   I take a probiotic and I eat yoghurt, but I figured no harm in trying kefir as well, since she's the 3rd person in the last couple of months to mention it to me - my shiatsu guy just recommended it last week.  So I picked some up today.

At the barbeque, I also couldn't help notice my other cousin C's approach to food (and yes, I notice everyone's approach to food).    She had an eating disorder as a teen, and then shifted to a raw food diet, then eating for your blood type, etc.   I think that a lot of formerly-ED people do this - sure, they aren't puking up their meals anymore, but they refuse to eat normally, always looking for the perfect, "right" diet.   At least, I did.  And I notice she is still quite slim, and still eats so differently than everyone else.  And it makes me sad.    She doesn't know I just spent 3 months in ED treatment, so I am thinking of writing her an email just sharing with her my experience.   But I'm not sure I should meddle, as we are not that close.    

There is a woman I work with who is perpetually "on a diet" and makes a lot of comments about other people's bodies and what they are eating.    Today she came by my desk as I was eating lunch -  cottage cheese, celery, peanut butter sandwich - and asked me if I was on a diet.   I said no, why?  She said, that just looks like diet food.  I said, no I actually like cottage cheese.    I am not sure of the point of this story.  Just that I wish this woman would stop talking to me about diets and weight and don't X and Y have the most perfect bodies.  As if I am now a card-carrying member of the not-perfect body club, along with her.    Grrrr.